To be invited into someone else's home for their unbelievable hospitality is a blessing. To refuse too often would be an offense, but too often the time to spare can be difficult to find. When I am invited, and there is nothing pressing to get in the way, then I really am in for an experience. Today I was invited into our neighbours home. I have been too busy on other occassions but today there was nothing standing in my way. Lilian and George enjoy playing with the twin seven year old boys, who's cousin was also there to join the fun.
I'm not good at small talk at the best of times, so I sit there with the Mum, who speaks only a little English, which is still more than my few words of Arabic. The children translate a little and we get by. She goes to offer me coffee, but then remembers that I don't like it. We sit in her home, in an open space with two small sofas and a larger open space of Bedouin style seating, with a partly awkward silence but mainly just enjoying the children play. The Bedouin seating is an ideal place for the children to explore their gymnastic talents as they run/ roley poley/ play fight/ attempt cartwheels/ generally play excitedly.
Our host brings us juice, without asking if we want any, and we receive gratefully and politely, and enjoy of course. I am not allowed to do anything, even to help pick up a few toys the children have left. I am just to sit and be waited on.
Her husband arrives home and I suggest it is time we left as George is very tired and needs to sleep (he was falling asleep before the visit). At this point I am invited to eat some locally made pizza. I try to explain I have already eaten, but then realise it would offend to refuse. I sit at their kitchen table and realise, from other experiences, that it is not custom to be polite and wait, so I help myself. I take one of the individual pizzas, at which point my host adds another to my plate. Now there's one dilemma I have here, I am from a culture in which it is rude to not finish what is on your plate, it shows you are ungrateful or that you did not like the food. In this culture I find the opposite is true, if you finish what is on your plate it communicates that you are not satisfied and would like more. Aware of this I planned to leave a small amount of the second pizza on my plate, but before I get to this point a third pizza is added. Such amazing hospitality, generosity, and delicious food. However, I know that if I eat this also, which it is in my instinct to do so, I will only be given another. To avoid getting into this cycle, I finish my second pizza but leave the third, showing that I am full. This way I know that the pizza doesn't need to be wasted by me only eating part of it.
I then stand and explain that we need to go so that the children can go to bed, which they find difficult to understand as children here tend not to be put to bed/ have a bed time, especially when it isn't even a school night. I know that my children need it after a busy day and week in school and, therefore, insist that we must go now. It's difficult to leave and ensure they know I am grateful for their hospitality, but I am. I guess the best way to show it is to say yes again, when I'm invited in.
Author: A.E.
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| This is a picture of Bedouin style seating. My hosts seating arrangement was similar. |
Our host brings us juice, without asking if we want any, and we receive gratefully and politely, and enjoy of course. I am not allowed to do anything, even to help pick up a few toys the children have left. I am just to sit and be waited on.
Her husband arrives home and I suggest it is time we left as George is very tired and needs to sleep (he was falling asleep before the visit). At this point I am invited to eat some locally made pizza. I try to explain I have already eaten, but then realise it would offend to refuse. I sit at their kitchen table and realise, from other experiences, that it is not custom to be polite and wait, so I help myself. I take one of the individual pizzas, at which point my host adds another to my plate. Now there's one dilemma I have here, I am from a culture in which it is rude to not finish what is on your plate, it shows you are ungrateful or that you did not like the food. In this culture I find the opposite is true, if you finish what is on your plate it communicates that you are not satisfied and would like more. Aware of this I planned to leave a small amount of the second pizza on my plate, but before I get to this point a third pizza is added. Such amazing hospitality, generosity, and delicious food. However, I know that if I eat this also, which it is in my instinct to do so, I will only be given another. To avoid getting into this cycle, I finish my second pizza but leave the third, showing that I am full. This way I know that the pizza doesn't need to be wasted by me only eating part of it.
I then stand and explain that we need to go so that the children can go to bed, which they find difficult to understand as children here tend not to be put to bed/ have a bed time, especially when it isn't even a school night. I know that my children need it after a busy day and week in school and, therefore, insist that we must go now. It's difficult to leave and ensure they know I am grateful for their hospitality, but I am. I guess the best way to show it is to say yes again, when I'm invited in.
Author: A.E.
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